Vanderpump Rules Episode 5 Recap

After a week off for New Years, we’re back tonight with a new episode of Vanderpump Rules! Last week saw the return of Lala who brought on a splendid little rumor about Tom cheating on Katie with one of Lala’s friends. This week, we see how this continues to play out.

We start off at Tom’s with Sandoval and Jax, two hours after Guillermo’s birthday party. They’re almost immediately interrupted by the girls who quickly kick Jax out, who scoots away (literally) on a motorized cooler scooter. I’m honestly jealous and I hate myself. Anyways, Tom and Katie start going at it, which as we all know means Katie starts berating Tom in her agonizing natural whine. She storms out, per usual, and I guess we’re moving on..for now.

The next day we head to Sur to see Lala arrive (in her white Range Rover) for her first day back on the “job”. Can I just say that Lala’s such a breath of fresh? That’s all. Anyways, we catch up with Brittany at the bar with Jax who are seemingly on pretty great terms at this point. Jax asks Brittany if she still wants to have their housewarming party and she somewhat reluctantly agrees. Across the restaurant, Katie grabs Lala to go talk about the tidbit she shared last week. They actually pretty calmly talk and Katie even apologizes to lala for the married man comment that Scheana shared with her. They then continue to talk about the details of Tom’s alleged discretion, and Lala has some pretty solid evidence such as Tom calling the girl their ever present nickname for each other, Bubba.

Katie and Lisa then head to the private dining room to go over everything happening with Tom, and for some reason Tom’s philandering ways seem to put off Lisa from wanting to move forward with Tom for the restaurant.

Soon after, Stassi comes to meet Lisa at Sur where Lisa praises Stassi’s efforts in planning the birthday party. Lisa explains she’d like to move forward with Stassi planning more parties and next up is the one and only, Harrison. Anyways, Stassi lets Lisa know about Jax and Brittany’s upcoming housewarming party.

We then strangely head over to a painting party with Jax and the Tom’s. Tom Schwartz explains how he’s reluctant to drink because he doesn’t want to get in to it with Katie later, and so naturally Tom and Jax proceed to make him take shots of none other than Absinthe. What’s with the strange abrupt presence of Absinthe on this show all of the sudden?

We switch over to Brittany, Katie and Kristen (who at this point I almost forgot was even on the show), and they discuss the upcoming party at Brittany’s. We bounce back and forth between the boys and the girls pre games, and Jax tells Tom he needs to just admit what happened and move on, to which Tom responds by once again saying that he doesn’t remember. Back with the girls, seemingly out of nowhere Katie brings up rumors about Scheana’s boyfriend Rob cheating on Scheana. The proof is from their close confidante Jen, who works at the restaurant where everything allegedly went down.

Then we actually head to Rob’s house, where Scheana’s hosting a dinner party and Tom and Ariana head over to join them. Scheana continues to slam Shay while explaining her love for Rob’s house and their relationship. Scheana then proceeds to tell us that she has a countdown app on her phone till when she’s officially divorced and if I haven’t said it before I’m saying it now..I despise her.

Over at Tom and Katie’s, things seem to be going better as they have a nice friendly banter going. They then get in to discussing the juice..and Katie spills that she heard he was calling the girl Bubba. Katie’s also pissed about Tom going out and drinking, which I’m sure is more about the drinking than anything, but I digress.

The next day we head out shopping with Ariana and Lala, who’s looking gorgeous by the way. Lala asks how Ariana and Tom are, and Ariana spills that her and Tom don’t have sex or anything remotely close to it. Ariana’s reasoning is that she used to be in a terrible relationship where the guy told her that her vagina is disgusting. Not quite what I was expecting to come out of her mouth but brave of her to open up about it. Lala even gives her some sage advice and I think I like this friendship but we’ll have to check back in on it later.

Next up we go over to Vanderpump Dogs where Schwartz comes to talk to Lisa about the umm, situation, if you will. Lisa explains that the reason she’s hesitant is because a business partnership is like a marriage and so if he’s doing this in his romantic relationship, what’s he going to do in his business relationship? Solid point Lisa, I didn’t know where you were going with that one earlier.

Then the night of the party arrives, and first we’re with Brittany, Kristen and Scheana to set everything up. Kristen uses this chance to tell Scheana about the rumor or Rob kissing that girl at the restaurant. Scheana asks who brought this up and Kristen lets her know it was Katie. Scheana is a bit more than pissed at Katie and Kristen basically tells her to stop acting like a condescending little bitch.

Later, everyone arrives at the party, even James and that void of a girlfriend of his. Katie and Tom arrive last, and once everyone settled in we see them playing an interesting game of alcohol spin the bottle. Tom has to sit this one out, however, as he’s agreed not to take shots for the time being. Scheana and Stassi then randomly start talking about Scheana and Rob, and Stassi lets us know that she simply doesn’t give a fuck. Pointless conversation but sort of fun to watch nonetheless. I’m always here to watch someone being dismissive of Scheana.

A bit later in the party, we’re treated to a quick flash of Tom Sandoval and James rapping, which is..interesting. Then we cut to Jax venting to Carter about why he cheated on Brittany (for attention). Brittany then walks in on the conversation and she gets mad at Jax for not talking to her, to which Jax then has the audacity to get mad at Brittany. Then we cut to Lala, who let’s it spill that there’s audio recording of Jax saying some atrocious things in regards to Brittany and their relationship. James was sent this audio by Faith, who forwarded it to Lala. Thank god Lala is back to be the one to release this juicy tidbit. Ariana tells Brittany about it, and Brittany proceeds to listen to it and not a second after does Brittany LOSE her shit on Jax and kick Jax out. I wish we heard the recording ourselves but I’m sure we will at some point!

Next week shows us Brittany seemingly fed up, and more surprisingly, Tom and Ariana on the verge of a break up themselves. In all honesty, I’m pretty damn excited!

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